Tuesday, September 1st, 2009
Today was one of the greatest days of my life. Seventeen hours of greatness. I will write roughly one page for every three hours of greatness (plus pictures/video).
I woke up relatively early and made waffles. Then my friend and former fencing captain, Bill Kolodzey drove up to accompany me on a visit to Dorney Park. He got a discounted ticket at a local grocery store and I got free parking, so this was a less expensive option than Six Flags, with its $20 parking fee.
When we arrived at Dorney Park, we went straight to the game area, which had been closed before. I was pleased to discover that not only was Bank-a-Ball open, but they also had Wacky Wire and the milk can toss in that building. Maybe they really do close down the winnable big-ticket games when business is slow.
I started by playing Bank-a-ball. The setup is a little different, as the board on the front of the box is narrower and the angle of the backboard might be steeper than usual.
There is a sign that says, “no leaning.” I asked the game operator the rules and asked if I could bend over, so long as my elbow did not reach past the edge of the counter and she said it was alright. There was a 5 tries for $5 season pass holder special, which is a good deal – nice to see they at least have some legitimate specials. On my sixth try, I won it. Then the operator told me that I could not win additional prizes with my remaining 4 attempts. Apparently the 5 tries are only good for a single try. Of course, that is not indicated on any signs anywhere. Then I bought 5 more tries and she told me I couldn’t put my elbow as far forward as I had before, that I had to back it up (by some arbitrary distance she designated). My friend Bill suggested, and I agree, that my positioning was only illegal because I had just won the game. Nevertheless, I was pleased to win a giant gorilla. See the video of my win and subsequent practice throws and notice the shady glance the operator gives to someone off to her left.
Next, I played the Wacky Wire, at an amazing bargain price of 3 tries for $2. The normal price at other parks is $2 per try or 3 tries for $5. It wasn’t even a season pass special here. For those unfamiliar with the game, it involves a spiral wire rotating slowly counterclockwise and the player must guide a metal ring (with two handles) down to the bottom of the wire. If the ring touches the wire, a buzzer rings and the player loses. This is a game that looks easy and is designed to sucker the average player. The average player will touch the wire maybe three fourths of the way down and will think that he almost got it. In fact, the game does not become at all difficult until the very end. Here is a picture linked from a carnival rental place:
The bottom coil of the wire is very close to the base of the game. There is also a pillar stucking up off the platform, placed carefully and inconveniently close to the rotating wire. The combination of these factors require very careful positioning of the ring in order to win. If you try to navigate the bottom of the wire the way you did the top, you will get obstructed by either the pillar or the base and you will lose.
I think I played the Wacky Wire about ten times, spending $6-$8 before winning it. Check out the video of a few attempts and the win. Bill also played three tries, but was not successful. The game operator gave me a fairly subdued congratulations and went off to get my prize. Then a manager walked over and rudely told me I was done playing for the day and could not play either Bank-a-Ball or Wacky Wire anymore. I pointed out that I had met my daily limit of one prize for Wacky Wire, but the limit for Bank-a-Ball was two, so I could win one more. She pointed out that I had already won two giant gorillas – true, but irrelevant. I again referred to the daily limits of each game and thought this settled it, since the manager was clearly wrong.
Next we paraded the gorillas around the park for a little while, taking a few pictures here and there. It really was quite a sight. I wish there had been a third person around to videotape our parade. People were amazed seeing the two huge prizes – a testament to the difficulty of the games and the generally crappy prizes at Dorney Park. I chatted briefly with a couple of people about the games and my intention of donating the prizes to a charity and most seemed to think it was neat, rather than treating me like a weirdo. At the front gate, we took a few pictures and a few members of a family asked if they could take a few pictures of themselves with the animals. I agreed to that and they agreed to let me take their picture.
Stuffing the gorillas into the car was no easy task, but we managed it, after a bit of rearranging.
Free of the gorillas, we went off to ride the rides. We rode in the front seat of the Steel Force, which made for a totally different experience than I had yesterday sitting a few rows back. There was a scary pause, teetering over the edge of the big drop. In addition, I sat on the outside seat today, which was much scarier on the turns. We also rode the Power Tower-type ride that either shoots you straight up or straight down 200 feet. That was pretty scary, but fun. The gut-wrenching fear of 2002 has still not resurfaced, though this ride came closest to triggering it.
Bill wanted to try the Pirate’s Ladder. The game operator said she’d never tried the game and couldn’t demonstrate it, but Bill played anyway, using my pass to get the 3 for $5 special. Bill did not come close to winning, but did have one attempt that was no a total disaster. See the video of a few of our attempts.
Later, walking past again, we saw another guy working the game and asked him to demonstrate. He slowly, but steadily made his way up the ladder, rocking back and forth on the way up. Clearly very, very difficult. Nevertheless, I was inspired to try it. I failed three times, with my best climb perhaps only slightly better than Bill’s.
Walking back toward the front of the park, we saw the same unpleasant manager walking in the opposite direction. About 200 yards later, we made our way over to Bank-a-Ball and I bought 5 more tries. Moments later, the manager appeared again and announced that she had already told me that I couldn’t win anymore, that I could play, but I couldn’t win any prizes. I suggested that it was good for business for people to see that the games were possible to win. She replied that it was not good for business for me to win all of their prizes on the same game, repeating that I had already won two prizes. I reminded her that I had not reached my limit on Bank-a-Ball and reminded her that she had watched me win my two prizes on separate games. At this, she turned away and walked into the back-room area, as if to get a higher authority. In fact, she had just rudely walked away without a word. We waited around and she did not return. What a horrible person. She spends her days overseeing games that are intentionally designed to be deceptively difficult to hustle visitors, yet still insists on being a cry-baby on the rare occasion that someone comes along and wins. Totally classless.
After I filed a complaint regarding this manager, we rode a few more rides and then left. As I mentioned yesterday, I hoped to go to the Great Allentown Fair. They sell advance tickets at a discounted rate, so we drove to the fair ground to pick them up. When we arrived, we saw a big sign that said “Opening Night Preview – Free Admission” so we parked and went in for free. Walking up the row of carnival games, we came across a Bank-a-Ball game. The board was at a very steep angle and the receptacle was a squished round plastic tub rather than a box, but players were allowed to lean as far over the counter as they wanted. There was also a red border around the board and if the ball hit the red, it was a do-over, win or lose. I thought that was pretty darn fair and said so.
I chatted with the carney a little and he agreed to sell me 3 tries for $5 and to allow Bill to use my remaining tries if I won on the first or second, since one person could not win more than once per day. My first throw was very good and bounced off the inside rim of the tub, ricocheting backwards over the tub, behind the game and out of play. The carney recognized my greatness and announced “hey, we’ve got a professional over here!” I said I’d practiced on a table in my basement and we chatted a bit more. He was very friendly and encouraged me to keep trying, talking a bit about the technique and demonstrating a few times. I paid another $2 for a single try, failed, and then said I might return later, but wanted to walk around a bit more. He said he thought I would come back and welcomed my return.
After finding no other easily winnable games, we returned to the game. The carney welcomed us back and tried to call back a guy who had just walked away from the game, telling him to come watch my technique. Apparently, the guy had been whining about the game being impossible. I tried three more times and came close, but did not win. Bill tried three times and failed miserably, despite being 6’4” and having a huge reach. The carney commented on my great technique and Bill’s ability to come close, despite having no technique, since he was so tall. Note the audio on the video clip.
Finally, I asked Bill to loan me $5, having spent my last few dollars. Bill agreed and I bought three more tries. I think I hit it on my first try. The carney congratulated me and was very friendly. Then I passed the remaining ball or two to Bill, who reached way out and made a perfect throw, winning again. All the carney had to say about that was “F@%*!” But he quickly recovered and gave us our two prizes, walked out to the middle of the walkway, rang an airhorn and pointed to us and announced us as winners. Then he graciously agreed to pose for a picture with us.
At some point he also held up two fingers to the other carney working the game, giving an exasperated/incredulous look. After all, they had only been open for about a half an hour, so two prizes was a lot to give out. As we went on our way, he shook our hands, dismissed our thank yous (in an “of course, no problem – you won fair and square” sort of way) and encouraged us to tell people where we’d won. This guy was a class act, in total contrast to the Dorney Park manager.
Realizing that the car was absolutely packed and had no hope of holding my giant penguin, I decided to give it to the first kid I saw who eyed it. There was a little boy who looked at it excitedly and I sort of held it out to him, prompting him to hug it. I asked his mother if I could give it to him and she agreed. He gave the thing a gigantic hug and happily had his picture taken.
There were two little girls also with him, who asked to have their picture taken with the giant dog Bill had won. Bill graciously took their picture and gave the dog to them to keep. The kids were all very happy and Bill and I were glad not to have to tie the prizes to the roof of the car.
Driving triumphantly back to Philadelphia, we dropped off the gorillas in my friend/host Mike’s apartment (as a surprise for when he returned at 1 a.m. from his shift at the hospital) and then went off to fence.
I have not fenced since April and did not bring any stuff, but Bill generously loaned me most of what I needed and the owner of the facility loaned me a pair of knickers. I was still fencing in my every-day sneakers in somewhat ill-fitting equipment, though. I did not look like a good fencer, to say the least.
I fenced matches of three bouts to five touches against several people. I lost 1-2 to one guy in his twenties in a fairly close match. I then beat a woman in her forties or so 2-1. She seemed like an accomplished fencer and seemed displeased to have lost to me (or perhaps to even have fenced me?). Next I fenced an 82 year-old man and beat him 3-0, though he scored several touches on me. He complimented my speed, but suggested that I could have moved one third as fast and still been too fast for him, and might not have missed quite as often. Finally, things were dying down a bit and only Bill and I were really still up for fencing. I fenced probably ten bouts to five against Bill and won at least one of them – I do not quite remember the outcome of the others. When we were done fencing, the owner told me that I was his guest for that evening’s fencing and did not have to pay any fee for the fencing time, which was very nice of him and contributed to the greatness of my day.
After getting cleaned up from fencing, I joined another friend for a midnight bike ride to a pretzel store. Apparently every Tuesday night, people meet in front of the art museum at midnight and then ride downtown to a pretzel company to get pretzels fresh out of the oven for 30 cents. Lots of hip-looking people with their single-speed bikes and fashionable hairdos, not constrained by helmets. Right around midnight, someone shouted that it was time to go and the roughly fifty people there jumped on their bikes and raced into the street, swerving across multiple lanes of traffic. It was totally crazy and somewhat out of control. My friend and I followed in a more dignified, safer manner and arrived a bit later for some delicious, cheap, fresh pretzels. Then a pretty pleasant ride back home with very little traffic and the great day came to an end after 17 wonderful hours.
